Further on up the road

Where the road is dark and the seed is sowedWhere the gun is cocked and the bullet's coldWhere the miles are marked in the blood and goldI'll meet you further on up the road

Got on my dead man's suit and my smilin' skull ringMy lucky graveyard boots and song to singI got a song to sing, keep me out of the coldAnd I'll meet you further on up the road.
Now I been out in the desert, just doin' my timeSearchin' through the dust, lookin' for a signIf there's a light up ahead well brother I don't knowBut I got this fever burnin' in my soul

   Lately with all the upheaval and strife there has been a undeniable undercurrent in my thoughts. There must certainly be more than this. This place, these people, these women, this bottle, and this job. I have to go other places, I am searching for.. something.. maybe peace at last. That would not be unwelcome.
   Ah women, we always want what we cannot have do we not? There is one right now that I think would work out famously. One little problem though, she has this pesky boyfriend.Now in the past I would have simply smashed him until he went away or simply taken what I wanted. Now? I like to think I've grown past that kind of thing. Sometimes I'm not so sure.
   Friends... in the last couple months many have gone and their part in the story is over it seems. Most were just meaningless acquaintances, a few were those who claimed brother/sisterhood and love of family. I know it is the nature of life for things to come and things to fade away. I know that claims of brotherhood and "family" are a lie. There is no forever and there is no family beyond blood. I think I always sought out folk to fill that role in away since my blood family is very small and grows fewer still. This I believe was an attempt to fill a void without admission that humans in the end will always do what is self serving. When the time has come its either you or them. I  have only known a few exceptions in my life.
   My mother is very sick and we will lose her sooner rather than later. When this happens my Father will not be long behind her. She is his life. Has been for 40 years. I'll be honest I haven't handled this all well and have done things out of character at least at this point in life. Ive become more violent and much less tolerant. And yes I know I drink too much. Yes I know the whiskey isn't helping. Right now its about all I got.

Jameson my dear friend, the only one who never turned. Have we not walked some fascinating roads together?

Though Ive come through disease, blood, death, betrayal, and lost love the goal in life remains the same.

To save the world, get the girl, and become a hero.